Friday, December 12, 2008

Open Letters from Mrs. Grumpypants

(c) 2008 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com


Dear Mr. Kluges,
You know how when you open a new box of cereal with freeze-dried strawberries in it? And the strawberries, being so light, have all sifted up to the top? Well, please QUIT EATING UP ALL OF THE STRAWBERRIES! When you eat 30% of the cereal in the box with 70% of the total amount of strawberries, you make my life very difficult when Child #2 wants cereal with "rahbahbah!" and there aren't any.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Grumpypants


Dear Child the Second,
I know there weren't any strawberries for your cereal today, so thanks for settling for rice krispies. However, no matter how many times you try to convince me, 5:30 am is NOT morning! Ok, technically it is, but not in my playbook. And it's not like you've gotten enough sleep and are raring to go - you get all tired and whiny a couple of hours later, when you'd usually be taking the morning nap you've outgrown. (Outgrown 'cuz if you take it, you no longer take the more necessary afternoon nap.)

So please, tomorrow morning, go back to sleep until at least 6. Please?

Very, very sincerely,
Momma Grumpypants


Dear Child the First,
This one isn't really your fault. You're just not used to being around as many germs as you get exposed to at school, so of course your immune system's getting a workout and you keep getting sick. But dang it, I was hoping to take you and Child the Second to the children's museum today since there's no half-day K scheduled. But between your marathon-running-runny nose and Penguin's early morning, I don't think it's necessarily going to happen today.

But hey, thanks for not getting up at 5:30 anyway.

And wipe your nose please.

Love,
Nurse Grumpypants


Dear Self,
Quit being so grumpy. Life's pretty dang good when that's all you've got to complain about. Sheesh.
Me

4 comments:

nonick said...

5:30 is too early. My "kid" (a.k.a. Mr. White and Furry) doesn't wake me until after 7 most days, and even that feels too early too often. And he NEVER complains about his food. If it makes you feel any better, your grumps made me smile. :)

DiploWhat said...

My kid (snutt-butt) likes to wake me at 5:00 or earlier by snorting in my face and then curling up right by it. However, I have outsmarted her with my insomnia. She no longer can wake me up because I'm already up! Ha ha! She has now reacted by not coming by the past couple of days. She knows she is defeated.

Jaysan said...

Here's a suggestion for Mrs. Grumpypants- open your cereal boxes, then flip the bag over and open the bottom. This should make it all better. Also, best if you aren't wearing pants.

kittenpie said...

Oh, we've had two sick days this week, so trust me, I understand being grumpy about how these so-called smaller things can mess you up!