Open Letter, 1st Back Porch Edition

(c) 2012 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Laptop,

I know we've known each other for less than 24 hours, but I think I like you.  I think I like you a lot.  Sure, we're going through a few getting-to-know-you quirks, like me learning how to type on your flat little keyboard instead of the ergonomic one on the old desk top, or the fact that I keep accidentally hitting caps lock.  But this touch thingie instead of a mouse is kinda handy, your screen is huge, and it's sure pleasant to be typing away sitting out on the back porch on this beautiful day.

Yup, I think we're going to get along just swell!

Sincerely,

The Typist

Dear Hawks,

I miss you.  I know your nesting tree was blown over in that big storm that happened on the second day of school, but the sheer number of chipmunks, rabbits & squirrels we've got around here is just crazy.  Back when you were raising your young right next door, they certainly weren't so prevalent... or so BOLD!  Heck, the chipmunks just keep foraging around in the backyard when I hang up the clothes on the clothesline!  And don't get me started on the bunnies.  I mean, it was cute when I found that tiny hamster-sized baby one when I was mowing (fortunately for us all, he was hopping out of the way, but still...), but I do have a garden to defend.  

Also, I prefer your predations to those of the neighbor's cat (presumably), who likes those baby bunnies, or at least their heads, and leaves their decapitated little corpses next to our playground.  

Sincerely,

The cycle of life says how 'bout you cycle your way back over to our neck of the woods?

Dear Hubs,

This back porch you've reconstructed sure is pleasant.  Sorry you have to be stuck at work on such a lovely day!  'Course, if you were here, you'd likely be pounding/cutting/smashing/building... and I'd be seeing not quite so much wildlife.

Sincerely,

Your Wife

Dear Hawks,

Do you eat woodchucks?  'Cuz I forgot to mention our neighbor has a family consisting of at least one parent & 5 little 'uns living under his shed.  Little woodchucks are kinda cute, but I really don't think we want them deciding this area is great for an extended family paradise.

Sincerely,

Yum Yum Groundhogs! 


Dear Stupid Across the Street (often drunk) Neighbors (most likely),

June is not July.  I know fireworks are legal in this state, but c'mon. Every night?  Last night was a Sunday night & you were shooting them off after 10 pm.  That's not cool.  Knock it off.  I will come over and politely ask you to stop.  Then, if necessary, I can politely call the police & ask them to ask you to stop.  How 'bout you just get a little more polite re: 10pm is quiet time & we'll all be happier, mmm'kay?

Sincerely,
Seriously, have you no clocks?

  

NaBloPoMo #13 - Return of the Open Letters

(c) 2011 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Squirrels,
You know all those acorns you buried under the limestone path I relaid in the backyard while I was trying to relay it? You better hope I don't get any li'l oak trees starting to poke through or gun training might be in my future!
That was hard work, dang it!
The Homeowner


Dear 4 year old,
Yes, I know you are pretty much too old for naps. Yes, I know you are wonderfully well-behaved at your half-day kindergarten, and impress the visiting YMCA nature guy by (correctly, and on your own) using the term "predators" in a sentence.
But either you have to start sleeping better/longer at night, or taking the occasional nap,or  in general shaping up, or your mother's head is going to explode with your continued purposeful naughtiness in the afternoons!

Sincerely,
Fed Up

Dear Readers,
You know, if you wanted to leave a comment on occasion, I wouldn't mind....
Needily yours,
Me.


Dear KFC,
For you information, my husband has been forbidden from going to Kahn's Mongolian Barbecue EVER. AGAIN. due to noxious vapors. You've just received strike one on the score card in terms of his return to your food.
Sinfreakingcerely,
OMG

Dear November,
You are long.
I mean, L.O.N.G.
It's only day 13?!
Sigh,
NaBloWhatNow?

Dear Treadmill,
Yes, I know, I'm on my way very, very soon!
Your 5K Pal!

Open Letters, Wildlife Can Be Annoying Edition

(c) 2010 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Not-so-baby-anymore Hawk,

We get that you're not all that pleased with being kicked out of the nest. That you think Mum & Dad should still be providing you with food. I think they probably still are, you big beggar, since you're still in the habit of crying for food. Particularly every morning at about 5 am.

Now, we're big fans of the wildlife around here, especially you gorgeous birds of prey. But c'mon. You redtails are KNOWN for your distinctive piercing cry. It's cool and all, but not over and over and over and over and over and over again when I'm still trying to catch some shut-eye, capiche?

Sincerely,
A Later Sleeper Than You


Dear Bunnies,

We've asked you to stay out of our garden. We've hacked down a bunch of your cover. You've been pretty good - my bean plants are actual real-sized this year, instead of the (still remarkably productive) stubs they were last year.

But you've been getting bolder.

We see you in our lawn.

We've seen you hide under the big bush right by our dining room window.

I've chased one of you out of the garden this past week.

Heck, the 3 year old now runs to the window or out the door and starts yelling, "Naughty bunnies! You stay out of our garden!" whenever she sees you.

So, I'm not going to be crying any tears once Redtail Jr. actually steps up to the plate and starts learning how to feed his own dang self.

Hasta la vista, bunnies.

Sincerely,
It's MY garden, dang it!


Dear chipmunks,

Cry danger all you like, I'm still sitting at the computer. I don't care that you love that pile of wood right outside my window so very much. _I'm_ not going to eat you up.

Sincerely,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever


Dear wasps,

First you try to build on the front of the garage. So we repeatedly knock down your still-very-small nests until you stop showing up.

Now you're trying to build homes on the sidelights right next to the front door and also by our dining room windows. It's not gonna work. We're not going to stand for aggressive, stinging tenants right by the entrance to our home.

And you bunch who started under the dining room windows. That was clever. We usually look for your nests a little higher up, so you had time enough to get a pretty decent-sized nest going. But you were found. And Mr. Kluges took away your home. (Used it to show Pumpkin some of the stages in insect development, too. Now it's even at summer school.)

Then you sneaky little buggers moved over a couple of feet so you were partly hidden by some lilies. But we're on to you. And so Mr. Kluges again knocked down your abode.

So today, when I took a look and saw you've moved over another foot, but are still persisting in your misguided attempts? Yeah, you just wait. That nest is not long for this world either.

Sincerely,
My brain is bigger than your brain, even though I don't have a stinger

Time for some more open letters

(c) 2010 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Grandparents Coming This Weekend & the Ones Coming the Next,

How do you feel about playgrounds? Also, how do you feel about hard work? These two might very well be related...

...but your granddaughters will love you even more!

Sincerely,
The One Who Hauled 5 Boxes Labeled "Playset" on Monday



Dear Weeds,

I hate you. I realize it's only April & we've still got the whole garden arena in which to rumble, but I'm starting out in a hatey state of mind already.

With Malice,
The One Who is Trying to Uproot ALL of You From Where Aforementioned Playset is Going


Dear Strawberry Plants,

A couple of flowers? Already? Um, ok?

Puzzled, but Hopeful,
The One Who Will Weed Around You


Dear Couch-to-5K Program,

Thank you. You keep surprising me by what it turns out I can do. I'm through Week 6 already, which means I've managed to run 25 minutes straight. Go, me!

I know, I know, I curse you (sometimes aloud) three times a week, but dang, if you aren't good for me.

Gratefully,
The Sweaty, Winded One


Dear Scale,

I hate you. Running is HARD work & makes me hungry.

Petulantly,
The Snacker

Open Letters, yet again

(c) 2009 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Summer,
I like you. I really do. You've been temperate, not too warm for our no A/C house during the days, cooler at night. I'd had some complaints about the drought, but, hey, it kept me from having to mow very often, so it wasn't all bad. Glad to have the rain recently though! So, you know, let's keep this up for a while!
Love,
Me


Dear Guest Room,
As the last room in the house that hasn't been painted (other than the sunroom, but that's only narrow bits around the windows/ceiling), I'm sure you've felt a bit neglected. Well, you were/are in some pretty rough shape. Rough enough that we're not going to get away with just slapping a new coat of paint over top and calling it good. Plus, you know, most off our painting was done by/with the grandparents here... of course, using the guest room.

No, you're going to get the whole 9 yards - peeling off the old latex paint on top, washing (or coating with flour/water paste, scraping, THEN washing) off the ancient chalky mess of calcimine paint underneath, exposing those (in your case rather damaged) bare plaster walls, having Mr. Kluges continue to develop his plasterworking skills, paining you up with masonry primer & then FINALLY paint on some yet-to-be-determined color.

Whew. Just typing that was time-consuming.

Since summer has decided to hit a hot and humid phase, Mr. Kluges suggested we take advantage of that and really move on peeling/pulling the paint. When we tried taking that layer of paint off this past winter, it clung kicking and screaming to the walls. Now, however, we can get our fingernails under a bit and just gently pull off pieces the size of hand towels. In fact, see here...

So, I hope you're enjoying the extra attention, Guest Room, since now that we've begun, we might as well keep trucking along...

Love,
One of the Owners


Dear AKJ & The Dude,
Since washing the calcimine paint off the walls takes SIGNIFICANTLY longer than peeling the latex off in the hot humidity, expect to enjoy the hospitality of the Master Bedroom rather than the "the yellow chalky crap sticks to your shirt if you brush against the wall" state of the Guest Bedroom when you come for your much-anticipated visit!
Love,
Your Excited, if Chalky, Hosts To Be


Dear Pumpkin,
You are seriously amazing me with the LEAPS and BOUNDS with which your reading has taken off this summer. Holy crap, kid, did you not read "Please come downstairs to the gum for paperwork and pictures day" on the school door today?! Ok, so I helped you go back and reread "gum" as the correct word, "gym," but dang! You're not even 5 yet!
Love,
Your proud mummy and fellow pre-kindergarten reader


Dear Penguin,
You crack me up when you reply to my questions with, "No, honey," all the time lately. Seriously, even if you're being a little naughty, it's hard for me to be firm (though I manage it), when the words of a 1950s, down South, diner waitress regretfully informing a patron that there's no pecan pie just came out of your mouth.
Love,
"Honey"

Ah, time for another round of open letters!

(c) 2009 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Rabbits,

We've got a ton of hostas. Why'd you have to go and mow down one of the only ones I've transplanted to a new spot? Now it looks all off-balance and funny in that area.

More importantly, STAY THE HELL OUT OF MY GARDEN! I'm pretty sure you've been at the beans & I'm telling you now that better be the end of it!

Sincerely,
The One Doing The Weeding, So Don't Think I Won't Notice


Dear Squirrels,

Yes, I know we've got a cool house. With recessed mortar between the bricks. Which apparently makes for excellent toe/claw holds. But I'm afraid my husband is going to have a conniption fit if he keeps seeing you scampering about on the side of his house. And if you keep it up, he's going to start trying to chuck rocks at you again, which is totally going to result in the breakage of at least one probably-from-1921 window glass. So knock it off.

Sincerely,
The One Who Climbed Out of the Bathroom Window Yesterday and Scared the Bejeesus Out of One of You, Resulting in an Impressive-Looking Two Story Leap on Your Part

P.S. I do think it's hilarious that one of you squirrels peeked in at him through the bathroom window when he was brushing his teeth this morning though...


Dear Our Municipality,

What exactly are the regulations in regards to slingshots and attempted use upon annoying varmints?

Sincerely,
A Law-abiding Citizen


Dear FLYlady,

I love how my house is tidier and cleaner since I started following your program. You're right - you can get a lot done in 15 minutes, routines help, watch out for Hot Spots, etc.

But all this cleaning is cutting into my blogging/posting/surfing time! :)

Sincerely,
A Flybaby


Dear Twitter,

I love how I can just pop on and share my 140 character thoughts with the world. However, it has cut down on my expanding those thoughts into, say, an actual post.

Sincerely,
How Many Characters Do I Have Left?


Dear Papa Jem and Damma Yori,

Thanks for hosting us this weekend, and especially for sharing your coats and such with us when the weather was 20 degrees colder than was forecast when I checked it for packing. As always, we very much appreciate the extra work & patience on your part & all the yummy food.

Sincerely,
Your DIL


Dear Weather,

What was up with you this past weekend? Seriously, I checked the forecast, with the right zip code and everything, for packing & it said 68F and partly sunny (as of Tues). You gave us 48F (brrr!), all-day rain/drizzle, and wind gusts for Saturday's 4 hour graduation party at a park. As Penguin said (repeatedly), "Playground wet!"

Sincerely,
Guess All That Time I Spent Choosing the Perfect Short-sleeve Shirt & Capri Outfit was Unnecessary


Dear Musings & Mutterings Readers,

Sorry I've been so absent lately. Between the end of the school year for Pumpkin, trying to keep up/get ahead with the Flylady stuff (love the results!), and a back-in-MN graduation this past (extended) weekend, I just haven't been posting. Apologies, & I'll try to start doing better.

Sincerely,
The Author

Open Letter to a Northern State

(c) 2009 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Wisconsin,
I don't know if you have an official state calendar, but in case you didn't know, it's April. That's a spring month. We don't need this anymore.


Sincerely,
A Resident

Open Letters to Wildlife

(c) 2008 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear small, scratchy, crawly whatever living in the office walls,

I was willing to ignore you when I heard you all summer and early fall when you'd do your little scratchy noise at about 10 or 11 every night. I figured you were that little bat that we'd seen sitting up high on the back porch. You eat mosquitos; I'll cut you some slack.

Then we got tired of the bat poop on the back porch and Mr. Kluges caulked it up. The little bat found a new home.

...

But somehow there is still/again scratching around 10 pm.

Mouse, or whatever you are, you are on notice. We've not seen hide, nor hair, nor poop of you in our house itself, but if you dare show one whisker outside of the walls, BAM! The traps will be coming back out!

Sincerely,
Wishin' mouse poop counted as insulation, 'cuz there's probably an icky, icky amount in the walls



Dear owl pair,

I think you're really cool. I mean, how many couples have such lovely, long conversations. And they seem very amiable - lower voice hooting to higher voice, who replies politely. Loud, rambling conversations they are too, since we can often hear you inside our house. You even let me see you - well, your shadowy shapes, anyway - flying through the trees in back a few weeks ago when I was out shoveling at night. And Mr. Kluges got to see you tonight. You're cool.

Now, can we talk about two little things? One, would you mind helping us out with the scratchy wall-dweller? If he ever ventures outside, do you think you might find him tasty? I bet you would! Two, once summer comes (as I keep telling myself it will), would you mind reducing your volume? 'Cuz if I can hear you so well now, through the closed windows and storms, I can't imagine how wake-up-y-loud you're going to be this summer with the windows open.

Thanks!
Your non-feathered fan


Dear squirrel(s),

You know that snow bank you've been frequenting, looking for the bread crusts I occasionally throw outside to supplement your mysterious acorn shortfall? (And I totally agree there is one, 'cuz our first fall ('07) we were seriously considering wearing hard hats in the backyard to protect from the acorns falling tens of feet from our two huge oaks. This past year ('08), nada.)

Well, now that it's nearly the end of January, I finally finished putting the last of the holiday decorations away. Like, today. Yay for me!

Which matters to you why? Well you see, that gingerbread house we made? Is now in your snow bank. Happy sugar rush to you.

Sincerely,
The people who watch you out the window and laugh when you get your nose full of snow

Open Letters from Mrs. Grumpypants

(c) 2008 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Mr. Kluges,
You know how when you open a new box of cereal with freeze-dried strawberries in it? And the strawberries, being so light, have all sifted up to the top? Well, please QUIT EATING UP ALL OF THE STRAWBERRIES! When you eat 30% of the cereal in the box with 70% of the total amount of strawberries, you make my life very difficult when Child #2 wants cereal with "rahbahbah!" and there aren't any.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Grumpypants


Dear Child the Second,
I know there weren't any strawberries for your cereal today, so thanks for settling for rice krispies. However, no matter how many times you try to convince me, 5:30 am is NOT morning! Ok, technically it is, but not in my playbook. And it's not like you've gotten enough sleep and are raring to go - you get all tired and whiny a couple of hours later, when you'd usually be taking the morning nap you've outgrown. (Outgrown 'cuz if you take it, you no longer take the more necessary afternoon nap.)

So please, tomorrow morning, go back to sleep until at least 6. Please?

Very, very sincerely,
Momma Grumpypants


Dear Child the First,
This one isn't really your fault. You're just not used to being around as many germs as you get exposed to at school, so of course your immune system's getting a workout and you keep getting sick. But dang it, I was hoping to take you and Child the Second to the children's museum today since there's no half-day K scheduled. But between your marathon-running-runny nose and Penguin's early morning, I don't think it's necessarily going to happen today.

But hey, thanks for not getting up at 5:30 anyway.

And wipe your nose please.

Love,
Nurse Grumpypants


Dear Self,
Quit being so grumpy. Life's pretty dang good when that's all you've got to complain about. Sheesh.
Me

Open Letters, Again

(c) 2008 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear 2000 Chevy Blazer,

Your heater core is bad. Broken, leaking, kaput. Not to anthropomorphize much, but I'm thinking either:
a) You're acting up since we just got the new (to us) car two weeks ago, and like a (slightly spoiled) new big sibling, you want all the attention and love, or
b) You've been struggling to help us get by as long as you could, being our sole non-human-powered transportation, but now that we've got another car, you could relax and let that part break that you'd been holding together so long by sheer force of will.

So to you I say either a) Buck up and get over it. We still love you just fine. Or b) Thank you so much for holding off on this repair as long as you did. It will be much easier to have you in the shop overnight now that we have a different vehicle Mr. Kluges can drive to work.

Sincerely,
Your Drivers



Dear Checkbook,

So, talk to the Blazer lately?

From, The Ones Who Sign at the Bottom



Dear Hair,

WTH? Do you hate me? I know I haven't gotten you cut/trimmed/whatever in seriously forever, but I thought we were ok with this "hmmm, I guess I'm growing it out" thing. But come on... when I last wanted you bangs-thingies to look like that it was a far different decade. Why must you suddenly decide to always curl up and crazy and make me look like I'm trying for 80's big bangs? Granted, there are people around in the Fox Valley area who are still sporting that look, and not even ironically or anything, but please, just stop it.

I Promise I'll Buy Better Conditioner Than Suave Tomorrow


Dear CSA,

Ground cherries? Really? You have the most surprising things in your boxes sometimes. Not that I'm complaining because I would never have bought kohlrabi or garlic scapes ever, and we've really enjoyed the two weeks of edamame, but opening the CSA box is always an adventure.

And I mean that in a good way.

Sincerely,
Us Fruit & Veggie Eaters


P.S.
Dear Triscuits,

I love you.

I was craving something crispy and salty tonight, but there were no pretzels, chips, chex mix, etc. in the cupboard. So, in a last ditch effort, I took a look at the pantry shelves.

And there you were.

I missed you when we were in Ireland. I'm so glad to have you back!

Sincerely,
Me

Some More Open Letters

(c) 2008 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Dear Penguin,

5:00 am is not morning. I don't care what the birds outside your window might say. 5:00 am on a Saturday is even more NOT morning.

Love,
The Parent Who Usually Gets Up With You



Dear Pumpkin,

Modesty is a virtue. Really.

Love,
The Parent Who Didn't Actually Post About That and Merely Linked to It on Your Father's Blog


Dear Bats,

I love that you eat mosquitoes.

I don't love that you apparently hide the day away in my outside back porch.

Actually, that's fine, JUST QUIT POOPING ALL OVER THE PLACE THERE. IT'S GROSS!

Not so much with the love,
The Sweeper


Dear Whoever Was in the City Land Behind our House this Past Saturday Morning,

A chainsaw? At 8:00 am on a Saturday? Was that really necessary, pal?

Sincerely,
At Least I Was Already Up


And finally...

Dear Paternal Parents, but especially Grampa Pharaoh, Mr. Kluges, and Grampa Jem,

Happy (belated) Father's Day!!!!

Love,
A Daughter, Mother-of-the-children, and Daughter-in-law

Some Open Letters

(c) 2008 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

To my in-laws, Grampa Jem and Gramma Yori,

Thank you so much for all your hard work this weekend. You and Mr. Kluges got a TON done. Gramma Yori, the newly painted kitchen and living room look great! And I know it was slow going in the LR since the varnish was too old and delicate to mask it with blue tape. Plus painting behind the radiator makes you a champ. Grampa Jem, it was due to your help and know-how that the LR floor got jacked up and the framing for the new support wall was built. Also, good eye on finding the floor jacks on sale in the paper! Also, it's so nice to have the storm windows off and the (few) screens up and the doorbell fixed.

On a side note, it turns out we cut down a few of the neighbors' buckthorns as the line isn't quite where we thought it was. Oops. Oh well.

Thanks again!
The Owners of the House of 42 Doors



Dear Penguin,

Please stop finding stuff on the floor and eating it.

Thanks,
Your Mom



To My Parents, who will be coming to visit fairly soon,

It's ok with us if take it a little easier when you're visiting. Because I think I'm still exhausted from trying to keep up with the in-laws!

Love,
Your Best Daughter



Dear Penguin,

Just because it's on the floor does NOT mean it is edible.

Sincerely,
Your Mom


To The Father of My Children, who are too young to cook on their own,

*cough* Ahem, Mother's Day is this weekend and I like hash browns and coffee and bacon &/or sausage with my breakfast in bed. ;)

Love,
The woman who went through labor twice without any epidurals to birth those very children


Dear Penguin,

I know you don't know math yet, but here you go anyway...

Stuff on floor <> Food

Ok?

Your Mom, who really does sweep the floor sometimes, even if it's apparently not often enough



Dear Cold,

Please go away. I am quite tired of your company.

And take your friends Cough and Sneeze with you, 'k?

Very sincerely,
Me

Open Letters

(c) 2007 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

To My Youngest Daughter

Dear Penguin,

3:00 am is only technically morning.

Also, neither the small teething cow toy nor the pink turtlebug is hard of hearing. Therefore, you do not need to talk to them (joyfully though it may be) so loudly in your crib.

Thank you,
Your Tired Mommy



To Our Recent Rodent Resident

Dear Mickey,

Ha ha! Mr. Kluges got you the first day!

Now don't come back and haunt us please, even though it's not long until Halloween.

Thanks,
Rightful Renters



To The Elder of My Two Brothers

Dear Uncle Drew,

You know that Lamaze peacock you got for Penguin? She loves him. He is the best for chewing on. And to help Pumpkin with the middle of the alphabet song, and because I think I'm clever, we've renamed him El Emeno. That's right, he's now El Emeno Peacock.
(*snicker*)

Thanks!
Your Big Sis

Open Letters

(c) 2007 Ms. Huis Herself at musenmutter.blogspot.com

Ok, this is totally a copy of a recent post by All Knowing Jen at The Bus of Love, but it was such a great idea, I just had to be a copycat. (If we were in school, I'd totally be trying to copy her outfits and stuff 'cuz she just so nifty!)


Dear Tall ER Doctor at St. Joe's,
Thank you for being so calm, competent, and professional when we came in to get our Pumpkin's head fixed. Thank you especially for recommending we sedate the poor little thing during the actual stapling so as to reduce her stress and trauma (and ours, too).
Thank you!

P.S. Your ER nurses are really nice, too - especially the one who got Pumpkin the kitty and puppy stickers and gave us some applesauce for her when we were ready to leave at 9 pm when she hadn't eaten anything since her lunch of a piece of ham and some cupcake frosting.

P.P.S. Our pediatrician was very impressed by your work and said it looked like it had been done by a surgeon. Kudos to you!


Dear Our New Pediatrician,
I know my husband thinks you're a little brusque, but I like your no nonsense attitude. Even though I'm slightly intimidated by your cute and stylish clothes and military background, I'm glad the nurses recommended you to us when we were in for the birth of our new baby. You were quick and efficient getting out the staples and that helped a lot.

Also, your military background makes me try harder to remember to give the new baby tummy time 'cuz Mr. Kluges jokes that if I don't you'll make me drop and give you twenty. . . and I know there's no way in H-E-double toothpicks I could even do 10. (Ok, make that 5, even.)


Dear Pumpkin,
You were a very brave and quite calm girl at the doctor's. I'm sure the lollipop bribe helped, but I'm SO proud of you!


Dear Weather,
I know I had said I was looking forward to some more seasonal variation that we were getting in Ireland, but you've managed to fit nearly 3/4 of a year's weather into 2 months what with the snow at Easter time, the hot hot days the last couple of weeks, and today's fall-like temperatures. We're planning on staying here in WI for a while, so you can go back to moseying through the temperature and precipitation variations at your usual pace.


Dear Plumbing,
Quit making that huge ocean rumble sound 20 seconds after every time somebody flushes the toilet. It's annoying. Like, REALLY annoying, especially in the middle of the night.


Dear Everybody who Helped with our House,
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thanks to all your hard work (which we appreciate immensely!) our house in the TC should be going on the market officially Wednesday or Thursday. Hooray! (Now we'll keep our fingers crossed that it finds a buyer with a reasonable offer.) (Or even buyerS with MULTIPLE offers!) (Ok, I know that's just greedy and pie-in-the-sky, but a girl can dream, can't she?)


And finally...
Confidential to L.B.
What is the deal with all your leaking? Your twin R.B. doesn't seem to feel the need to go overboard all the time like you do! Please calm down and pronto. My wardrobe would appreciate it.